Momma Bear...Friend or Foe?

At one point in time in Motherhood, the Momma Bear fury inside of us comes out and when she does, we must beware.  We've all been through it...protective instincts...rage....you know what I am talking about.



Kids go through childhood making good friends with whom they play, grow and learn with and unfortunately at times, pick on. And when that child is your child- the one who gets picked on- oh man, Momma Bear can be fierce when let loose...but its up to us as adults to do the right thing- to calm the animal and tame the wild bear. But at that moment, you can't help but to feel the rage.  What do you do? The hurt your child feels, the anger you feel...how do you fix it?  How do you make it better for your child without over reacting? All you want to do is scream and yell...just blast everyone...but you can't act that way in front of your child.  So you become torn.  You want retribution; but, that doesn't resolve much other than teaching them that retaliation and revenge is the proper protocol...so we ponder, do we tell the children to never play or speak again? Or do we allow this to continue...


I've been exposed to both ends of the stick...our son was picked on and my son picked on another boy...I got to see what it felt like from both sides...luckily, my son's friends are overall good kids.  None of them are bad spiritied and they all are well intentioned. It's the Momma Bear that really causes the stir...so unfortunately, the Momma Bear of the child my son picked on, didn't handle things well.  Instead of trying to work things out with the boys, she retaliated.  The boys are no longer playmates.  We as parents feel horrible about what our kids do to others because we feel that it's a reflection on us and most importantly we failed in teaching our child right from wrong.  It's even worse when this type of behavior is uncharacteristic of them.  So now we feel as if our child has been misunderstood and not given the chance to make things right.  It's not often that my son picks on anyone, but inevitably it happens...so I fault her...shame on her for not allowing us to make it right.  Shame on her for teaching her children to hold grudges.  Shame on her for not giving a child another chance...especially when they call each other friends...

But then the tables are turned...my son was the one who got picked on, by 2 sets of kids nonetheless...my son is now the one overcome with sadness...should I choose to enrage myself?  Let the "ani-mal" inside me take over...LOL...I contemplated and this Momma Bear chose to protect but be open to making things right- as friends should do...I confronted the parents gingerly.  With that,  I was so amazed by their response.  The parents completely stepped up to the plate and they did right by everyone!  It was almost like an after school special or something- it put the Brady kids to shame...they came straight over to the house and brought their boys with them.  They had them talk to my little guy to make things right. The kids worked it out.  Moreover, the parents of other boy who picked on my son even suggested to schedule a playdate (one on one) so that the boys can try to get to know each other better and mend.  After what these kind parents did for my son, it made me appreciate them more as people and realize how fortunate I am to call them friends...I have an even deeper respect for them...These Momma Bears did good!   Kudos to you!  Most importantly, all the boys learned a great lesson...including my son...
 
- All of us have Momma Bears in us...we all need to protect our children, having the Momma Bear instinct is good but it also can work to your detriment -